Still sitting...and waiting...

and growing frustrated...and feeling down...woe is me.....

I called the PGN/Attorney General's office myself yesterday. I finally did speak to a real person after being transferred 4 times--the original person that I asked for and was told "She's out of the office" was the person I ended up speaking with in the end! She told me to "call back on Friday morning." How many times have we heard that one? But, I will call her back on Friday morning and I pray she has good news. Things basically stop happening next week due to Semana Santa (Holy Week) and so if it doesn't happen this week, it will be after Easter, in my opinion, before it does. (Yes, I know Easter is only a week away, but a week here, and a week there adds up!)
I got an email from the US Embassy yesterday too. All it does is say the same things all of the other emails have said for the last few months. The. exact. same. thing. I tried to give suggestions on how we (me, my attorney, and Embassy) could resolve this. None of them were even given any discussion in their email. So, we're trying Plan C (or maybe it's more like Plan K or Plan S) at this point. J asked me why we were just now coming up with Plan C. I told her it was because I just thought of it! No, I don't know if it will work, but we will try. My friend, M, is working with the attorney today/Thursday on it. I hope to have news later today IF it's even feasible.
I am struggling, folks. J is struggling. The girls speak daily of HG. Yesterday on our walk, they were trying to determine what all 3 of them could wear when we go to pick her up. When we left Guatemala in September, I really thought it would be only a few months before we could return and pick her up. We're wrapping up the 7th month now. Sure, I'm grateful that she is living with a loving family BUT it's not our family, her permanent family. Yes, she has learned a great deal and continues to learn something every day. I get that. But, my heart hurts for me, J, and our girls. My heart hurts for HG. Is the Devil creeping into my mind and heart? Do I just need to pray more? What? I guess I'm being selfish and I want answers and I want them NOW. I know, I know. It doesn't work that way. Yes, I know that God has a plan. And so, there's a part of me that thinks that all of MY attempts to "help" Him are just futile. But, I also know that He hears me. He needs me to talk to Him. Daily. But I struggle and our hearts are heavy. I'm not looking for sympathy nor do I think YOU should have the right words to help me. There are no words. I know that. I just needed to "talk" it out here. Please pray for peace for us. And understanding. And wisdom. And remind us of our love for each other.