My Fish

HV and HM swim... a lot. Even as cold as our pool is now, they still get in (not daily, but still!). This school year they joined a swim team through their school and have loved it! Technically, HM is too young for this school group, but the coach said "let's try her and see how she does." She's been in the water with them every week since then! They had their first meet this past weekend and did GREAT! Both girls competed in all 4 strokes and placed in the top 3 on all events for their age bracket. HM came home with a medal and 4 ribbons. HV came home with a trophy and 4 ribbons. They issue points based on their ranking and HV had the highest number of points in her age bracket. Needless to say, we are proud of our "fish!" Good job, lovies!

Serving Spoon

I had a date tonight, just with my oldest "baby." Check out that spoon that came with her pork lo mein! She thought it was hilarious!

And yes, I did eat at a chinese food restaurant. They WILL prepare chicken lo mein without veggies, just in case you wanted/needed to know. :)

Tin Grin

Someone has a new smile as of Tuesday! She's growing up SO much!

The Paper and Prayers

Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words this week. I do not know if anyone will "come back" to the blog that visited it during Linny's Crazy Love Prayer day, but if you do, welcome back!
We are still waiting for the paper that we need for HG's adoption. We received word on Thursday afternoon that there would be a meeting on Friday (yesterday) morning to review the decision. Late yesterday/Friday afternoon, I emailed my contact, asking him if there was an update. He said that they were going to need to meet again on Monday and that he would keep me posted. Please continue to pray for this group of people making the decision on HG's visa. It will be a long weekend, but I hope and pray that we have POSITIVE result when this is all done.
A funny thing about fasting: I did fast on Wednesday during the day, praying more than normal. When I would feel a bit of hunger, I would pray. God would take care of my hunger and I would continue on my day. I did eat dinner with my family and I told them of my day of fasting and prayer. I explained fasting to HM and HV and why I did that. Fast forward to yesterday/Friday. We were at the pediatrician's officefor "sick visits" for both girls. The pediatrician said that we should do a blood screen on HV and that she would need to fast. Her eyes got as big as saucers and she shook her head. She thought she would need to fast all day like I did! I laughed and explained to the dr. that I had fasted and prayed this week and so HV thought she would have to do it all. She got a laugh about that too. No, HV. You only have to fast 8:30 p.m. until 8:30 a.m. the next morning. No biggie! That silly girl.

Reading

The girl loves her books, whether she's upside down or right side up! Honestly, she has always liked to read books like this, even as a little girl and before she could read!

Remember the Alamo?

Well, I'm ready to forget the Alamo right now! Ha! HV had a project in social studies to create a model of the Alamo. So, you know that means when you are in the fourth grade, right? Tell Mom about it, let her come up with a plan for it, and then do it with mom. So, we tackled it and I think it turned out ok. HV was rather pleased with the completed project too, but I'm glad it's over (and I'm sure that J is too because we made a mess in the kitchen!). And so, without further delay, here's the finished product:

Yep, it's edible! The Alamo Chapel is a giant sugar cookie, cut by HV in the shape of the Alamo, topped with frosting and crushed Special K cereal (you know, to give it the appearance of rocks since it is a bumpy cereal). The pretzel door, windows, and fence are held together with a special "glue" called Almond Bark (and the sun is "glued on" with Almond Bark too). The green grass is just colored white frosting. And yes, the board is covered with plastic wrap, two-ply, with a blue shade at the top!

We also did TX flag cookies for the class to eat. Above is the cookie with fruit roll-ups being the stripes. The only thing that isn't edible is the star. It's held on with more almond bark, but the star itself is a sequin.

Whew! I'm glad that this is over...until the next project!

The Stand Off

Parenting is a learning journey. In preparation for HG's arrival in our family, I have done SO much reading--preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. If nothing else comes out of this lengthy process, it prompted me to learn to be a better mommy to our girls (and gave me PLENTY of time to do it!). Yes, I know that HM and HV desire to have me at my best, but I thought I was already a pretty good Mom (note sarcasm here).
My girls learned long ago that Mommy means business. On Sunday after a short trip to WalMart on our way home from church for homemade pizza ingredients, HV and HM were fighting about who would ride with me and who would ride with J (I know, 2 cars is weird, but it's how we typically go to church). I told the girls that they could work it out or that I would. Needless to say, both were directed to ride with me. :( HV decided she was angry and she refused to put on her seatbelt. Here's our dialog after that:
Me: I removed my key from the ignition and said, "I cannot drive this car unless you put on your seatbelt. I could get a ticket from the police for that and I do not have the money to pay the ticket. AND it's not safe. So, just take your time, HV. I'll wait until you can get your seatbelt on."
5 minutes.
10 minutes.
15 minutes pass.
I, of course, wanted to jump out of my skin and scream "GET THE SEAT BELT ON--NOW!"
But, I didn't.
I just kept saying, "I know that putting on your seatbelt can be difficult. I do hope you are able to remember how to do it soon. Just take your time. I'll wait here with you." Yes, I know she knows how to put on her seatbelt and I know she thought I was crazy for suggesting that she forgot. But, sometimes humor, I think, works best to point out the obvious, especially with a charged-up kiddo.
HM is also wanting to scream at HV, but I guess she was following my lead and remained very quiet (which, if you know HM, is quite major for her to ever be quiet).
Finally, 20 minutes later, I hear a quiet little "click" on the backseat.
HM says, "Ok, Mom. She did it."
As I turn around to check, HV puts her hand back on the receiver (I don't know what that part is called--the buckle??) and gives me a small grin.
Me: "I'm glad that you were able to remember how to put on your seatbelt. I knew you could do it. Now, if you are going to unfasten the seatbelt, I still cannot drive. It must be fastened.
Are you going to undo the seatbelt?" No smile or grin back from me.
HV: She just looks at me. No talking/response.
And we sit again.
Me: I let probably one minute pass and I say to her, "Lovie, in case you have forgotten the question, I have asked if you are going to leave the seatbelt fastened or are you going to undo it? I cannot drive if you are going to undo it."
HV: mumbles something which I cannot understand or hear
Me: "I cannot understand you. If you want to say something to me, I need to hear it again."
HV: silence
Me: "Lovie, in case you have forgotten the question, I have asked if you are going to leave the seatbelt fastened or are you going to undo it?"
HV: "I don't want to go for a walk."
Me: "Well, we aren't talking about a walk right now. We are talking about your seatbelt. Are you going to leave it buckled or not?" I'm also thinking: From where did that about the walk come?
HV: "Yes, but I don't want to go for a walk."
Me: I start the car and head out of the parking lot. "Thank you, HV, for wearing your seatbelt and being safe. I appreciate it."
Within 2 traffic lights from the WalMart parking lot, I hear:
HV: "Mom, how far is it to River Legacy Park? You know, how far would we walk if we went there and back?"
Me: "About 5 miles."
HV: "Oh, ok. Do we have time today to do that? It's really nice outside and it would be a good walk."
And so, the stand off and the issue with the walk ended. The issue obviously was not about the seatbelt or the walk. It was about not getting her way with where she had to ride. It's about testing to see if Mommy will hold up her word, even if it means waiting for 1/2 hour in the WalMart parking lot. Ah, yes, HV. Mommy will hold true.
We didn't end up walking to River Legacy Park because we didn't have enough time before it got dark but we did start out on a longer-than-usual walk (usual walk = 2 miles and we were on our standard neighborhood route for 3 miles). The rain began, however, and cut that short.
HV loves to read outloud with me. We typically take turns reading chapters in a book outloud to each other while the other one crochets. After the rained-out walk, we sat down to finish up our book. HM came into the room with her crochet things too after we had already started. We interrupted our reading to get her settled (you know, no asking questions about the book since we only have 2 chapters left and you won't know what's going on, etc.). HM asks me a question but at the same time,
HV says "I'm sorry for being a jerk today."
HM finishes her question to me and then says, "HV, what did you say about a jerk?"
HV repeats, "I'm sorry for being a jerk today."
HM: "Who are you talking to?" just to make sure that she is talking to both of us.
HV: "Both of you. I'm sorry for being a jerk today."
HM: "It's ok, sissy."
Me: "Thank you, HV, for apologizing. You just have to remember to use your words instead of throwing a fit. That doesn't tell anyone anything. Grunting and pointing don't typically work, but words typically do."
HV: "I know. And I was being a jerk." with a smile.
Me: smiling back, "Yes, darling. You were."
As I tucked her into bed that night, I told her how proud I was of her for apologizing for her behavior earlier today. I told her that it was rather "big" of her to do that and reminded her how easy it is to just use your words.
She's learning. HM, while she was only indirectly involved with the exchange surrounding the whole Stand Off, is learning too. Little by little. Step by step.
But see, I'm learning too. Little by little. Step by step. My "old" approach would have been to scream at HV, telling her to get her seatbelt on. I would have told her how ridiculous this was that she is refusing to do this. HV is, after all, my oldest and typically my most compliant child, right? Ha! God can use her to help teach me and mold me too!
And then that leads me to think about God and how patient He is with me. How many times have I refused to "put on my seatbelt?" And He waits. He continues to show His love to me. And He waits for me. I'm bending. I'm shaping. I'm changing too.

Splish Splash!

I was looking at old pictures and this one was taken 5 years ago today. Oh my, they have grown.

From the other pictures I had taken on this day, this must have been HM's first bubble bath or at least one of the first. She apparently was amazed at her feet "hiding" under the bubbles and then reappearing when she lifted her foot back out of the water. Oh my.

Fast forward to January 2009 when HM and I traveled to Guatemala for HG's 4th birthday. HM was able to help HG "check out" taking a bath, just as HV had helped her.

Again, oh my.

Puppies

Our dear friend, Chick-A-Dee, gave HV this cutie book for her birthday last week. It was a "how to" book on making some little puppies with all supplies, even the glue included. This was the perfect gift for HV, combining two of her favorite things--crafts and puppies. Yesterday, HV crafted her pups. Here she is with her "babies."

Yes, HV would have LOVED to have a real puppy for her birthday, but this will have to do for now.

Double Digits

Friday we celebrated HV's 10th birthday. Double Digits. I'm not ready for this new era, to say "My oldest is 10 years old." Boo. I love her more and more with each passing day and year. Happy Birthday, HV!

our first glimpse of HV. This was one of three referral photos we received of her.

Getting ready to open a present on her 10th birthday. What a "big girl" she has become!

going for a ride on the teacups with HM at the Texas State Fair on her 10th birthday

Burnt the Horner

pic of the girls at gymnastics, taken with my sister's cell phone

According to my dad, my older sister and I used to say "Burnt the horner, Daddis. Burnt the horner." What we meant was "honk the horn, Daddy. Honk the horn." So, we've all said this little saying for our whole lives. So, why am I writing about this? HM got to "honk the horn" tonight at gymnastics. HM and HV both started taking lessons 3 weeks ago. HM had been asking to go and so initially it was going to be her thing. My mom owns a gymnastics center in our area and when we went to HM's class, she said that she forgot that there was a class that HV could do at the same time. So, both girls are going. And having lots of fun. The gym has a horn which you get to honk when you learn a new trick. Everyone in the gym stops and looks to see what "the honker" learned, complete with clapping and cheering. HM's honk was for learning a pullover on the bars. Now, I'm actually quite surprised that HM can do this since she hasn't shown to be particularly strong nor has she done much on the bars until today. She is very proud of herself (she told us that on several occasions tonight) and we are proud of her too! Yes, we're proud of HV too, but it's nice for the little sister to get to be the first one to do something for a change.

Conversation with HV

The city in which I work had it's annual Western Days Festival today. HV accompanied me to work my shift at the Festival, much like she has done in the past. I remembered this morning the Western Days Festival of 2007. We had just returned from a visit to Guatemala a few weeks prior. HG was on our minds. We knew that Guatemalan adoptions were ending. We knew she had no family. We knew of the place where she would be transferred and we were praying hard about her becoming part of our family. J suggested I talk to HV as we worked Western Days. So, HV and I climbed into the car and off we went for the 30 minute commute. I didn't say much on the way, my mind spinning. We did our shift and then as we were heading home, I asked HV if she remembered HG at the orphanage. Yes, Mommy. I told her that J and I were thinking about adopting her into our family. I explained to HV that we didn't know what all was wrong with HG and she might not ever be like a normal girl. HV asked if we could fix HG's brain here in America. I told her no, but I did think that we could make it better but I wasn't sure we could "fix" it. She sighed and said, "Well, Mom. You know that EVERYONE needs a family, even HG and even if her brain doesn't work right. So, she can be part of our family. Oh, when is she coming home?" I fought back the tears and told her that we all needed to pray about this, asking God for the wisdom to make the best decision. She said, "Ok, Mom. I'll pray that God allows us to have the blessing of HG." While I'm not crying while typing this today, it does bring back such a vivid memory and a smile to my face. HV's right, you know. Everyone DOES deserve a family and we're ready to be the family for HG. We just need her to come home so that we can have the blessing of having her in our family.

Mejor Hija

translation: oldest daughter.

When J and I began our adoption of HV, there was a small part of us that thought it really wouldn't happen. Oh we were (and continue to be) blessed with HV. We're blessed with all of our girls, don't get me wrong. With HV being our "first born," she holds such a special place in our hearts.

This is the first/youngest digital camera I have on this computer. HV is 2 years and 2 months old here. She looks so little.


2 1/2 years old, flower girl for a wedding

first day of kindergarten, August 2005

first day of 4th grade, September 2009

1st day of 4th grade

Oh, she has changed! Yes, her hair cut has virtually remained the same over the years, but she has matured so much in the last year or so. I'm not ready to have a kiddo in the double digits--just a few more weeks until that happens. I love you, "my biggest baby." You'll always be that, you know.

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HV loves to "wear" her animals. When we were in Guatemala, we purchased this cloth for her. We later purchased one for our friend, Anna. I told Anna's mom that we would make her a video, helping them to figure out how to wear Anna's cloth. T, Anna's carrying cloth looks similar to HV's in color. (The other piece of fabric that you have that's not as thick as this one is the skirt/corte. We'll make you another video for that one). Anyway, here's HV explaining how to use the cloth. Let me know if you have any questions. I don't know how to "flip" this thing, but I'll work on it and see if I can figure it out.

Cabelleriza

I just realized that I never published this post from when we went on the horseback riding tour. Sorry! This was one of the highlights of the trip for HV. That girl loves horses! So, here you go--one month after we did the ride.

I started this post yesterday/Wednesday, but my internet connection was spotty and I never could get it finished.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

This morning, HM, HV, and myself went for a ride. This wasn't just any ordinary ride. It was a ride on HV's most favorite animal, THE HORSE! HG stayed behind with A and had a great time. We rode for 2 hours and saw so much of God's beautiful creations. I don't know that these pictures will do it justice, but here's some (ok, lots of) photos from the day.

Coffee plants. There were tons of coffee plants on the trail. My horse, which seemed to eat the most while on the walk, did not care to eat leaves from the coffee plants. She would put them in her mouth but not pull them off of the plants, leaving them behind.

Avacado tree

Carrots growing

Beautiful view from our ride. Having been to Guatemala many times, this was not a "touristy" thing and I loved it! The girls did too.

I have no idea where these men and their horses were going. Occasionally, we would see people along the way like this, but I never saw any houses or anything that remotely resembled a dwelling place. Everyone was very friendly.

Another man we passed on the trail, carrying his heavy load on his back and his machete in his hand.

Looking back towards the city in which we currently live.

It was rather sunny and I did not stop my horse to take many photos so I simply had to hold the camera up and push the button, hoping it came out ok. You can tell from the photo, but the volcano on the left is puffing some smoke.

Vincente walked the entire time next to HM, leading her horse. He was very nice, always making sure we were all ok.

Heading down the trail between the maize. The horses would grab some of the corn stalks as we walked by and eat while walking. My horse in particular always seemed to want to eat.

After we rode through the trails, we ended up riding through this City. I don't know if it was because HV was riding this very big house by herself at the front or my white/blonde self that attracted the attention, but it like we were in the Macy's Parade. People coming out of their houses, waving, smiling, all very friendly. I thought it was rather funny to see these toothless little old ladies smiling and waving at us as they sold their produce on the side of the road.

This was the largest stallion there, Principe. He was gorgeous! In the stall next to him was Princesa. The two had mated but, from what I could gather between my "great" spanish was that Princesa had the baby yesterday and that the baby had died. Princesa was sad--you could see it in her eyes. I didn't photograph her, but she was almost as big as Principe and the same jetblack color.

trying to get close to the little philly you see in the background, but she wouldn't let them. This was as close as they were able to get.

Our tour guide's wife took this picture. She had never used a camera and so I had to give her a little lesson first. Not too bad for her first photo.

Ah! That's better! I picked up HM, thinking that it would make it easier for her to get us all in the photo. I think it worked!

Vincente, his wife, and their son, Julio Rafael

He was fascinated by seeing himself on my camera in the family shot and so I took his picture alone. While he isn't smiling in the photo, he sure did when he saw it!

Confusion?

I hope to have a coherent post for you today, but my mind is jumping around all over everywhere, so I apologize in advance if it's not.
We've been busy working to get things ready to move HG to A's house. I can't really stop and think about it. I can only keep moving, doing what needs to be done. If I stop and think about it, I can't move. I am paralyzed. I am tearful. I am weak.
Here are some of the things that we have done to help prepare:
1. It was suggested that we have a little gift for HG to open each day from us. So, we've wrapped up 48 little gifts--snacks that we've shared together that we brought from the US. Each one is in colored tissue paper and then we wrote little love notes that we put inside each one.
2. It was suggested that we leave photos of us together for her too. Today, we got the pictures developed and will put them in a little album tomorrow. The one hour wait for the development, of course, was a good excuse to go to McDonald's for lunch and play on the playground. HG, by the way, navigated the play equipment by herself today, even with her good eye patched! :) 3. Several of you have asked about us leaving something behind that smells like us. If you know HG, she smells EVERYTHING, even the bottom of her shoes each day before she puts them on! I have gathered up all of the dryer sheets that I could find (remember that post) and put them in a ziplock for her. I will wash all of her clothes with that detergent before she leaves us and her toys/lovies too. She still loves to smell those dryer sheets and so I think that will be good for her.
4. I also plan to call her every day and so hopefully all of those things will help us to stay connected with her.
Please continue to pray for swift processing of the paperwork and for angels to surround and protect her mind. I KNOW that I should not fear because God will take care of things, but the human side of me is fearful that HG will shutdown the contact with me/us because we are leaving her.
In order to help out my friend, A, we have decided to put HG in a preschool here in Guatemala. We visited it today and I think it will be very good for her. It will allow her to interact with kids and learn some things too. Going from an orphanage with 35 kids to our apartment with 2 in here and others to play with outside to A's house of almost all adults (grandchildren are over often), it will be a bit different for her without kids around. It's just a 1/2 day program and everyone seemed very nice and attentive with the children. It's small too, only about 15 kids with 3 teachers. I think, however, it did confuse her today too. I think she thought it was another orphanage and so I hope that she does well when she goes, not getting too confused about it all. She was rather testy with me for the rest of the day today. While at the preschool, she did play some and color, but she kept looking to make sure I was still there. I know that it's good that she is checking back for me, but it also makes me sad to think that our relationship formation is going to be suspended and how strong it could be if we did not have this interruption.
Leaving HG here has also brought up some feelings in HV and HM. Yesterday during Home Church, I prayed for us as we prepare this week for us to leave and HG to stay. I remained strong, Chick-A-Dee, and I didn't cry during the prayer. After saying "amen," HM and HG hopped off the bed and went on their way. HV looked at me with tears in her eyes, saying "Mommy, it's not right. It's just not right that we are leaving her here. We really need to take her home now." She crawled up into my lap and we both cried. While snuggled on my neck, I asked HV if it made her fearful that I could/would leave her too. A quiet "yes" was her response. I pulled her back, having her look into my eyes, and told her that my relationship on paper with her is different than it is with HG. I don't have papers that say HG is my child yet like I do with her. I explained to her that I will ALWAYS have someone to take care of her--whether it's me, J, or someone we appoint. We talked about times when both J and myself went somewhere and how we made a care plan for her, etc. She understood. HM has been rather tearful, crying over the silliest little things. She hasn't verbalized much, but I am quite confident it has to do with her insecurities of leaving HG behind. Selfishly, I didn't think about how this would impact them. I understand why and how they could feel like they are feeling, but I didn't think about that in my planning. I've tried to cut them some extra slack in the last few days, knowing that they are processing this all and having a somewhat difficult time with it too. I really figured they would be more excited about going home and not dwell on the "leaving HG behind" fact. Well, I guess it's really not the fact that we are leaving HG behind that bothers them. It's the fact that they think it could happen to them too.
We did get the DNA appointment information today. Once all parties have confirmed the date/time, I will share. BUT, it is this week! Yeah! So, that's one thing I really wanted to be done before we left and it looks like it will happen. Yeah!
Enough rambling for now. Again, I apologize for my scatteredness. I should probably go to bed now and try for a more cohesive day tomorrow? No, probably won't happen.

The Hair String

I don't know what else to call this thing that the girls had done to their hair a few days ago, but here are the pics of it.

We played a game of jacks this afternoon while HG slept. I don't really know how to play jacks, but we had fun nonetheless. It's a difficult balance to try and spend time some one on one time with the kiddos as needed, but I'm trying. I put the two younger ones to be early tonight (their normal time but we haven't made it that early in a while) and did some reading with HV. She still loves for me to read outloud to her and so we began a new book together today.

Ride 'Em, Cowgirl!

HV had the time of her life last week going to Horse Camp. She has been looking forward to it since school was dismissed--Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. with her most favorite of God's animals, THE HORSE! Oh that girl loves horses! She has been taking lessons on Saturdays at the same stables since February (Good ol' Santa gave her a month of lessons for Christmas!) but the camp has made the world of difference for her. She is so confident now and if it's possible, her love for the horse has grown even stronger. On Friday, they had an end-of-camp-show for all of the parents. Here are some pictures of her with her horse for the week, Sweetie.

















Our hot and sweaty girl with her Sweetie

The campers were required to do everything to care for the horses that week, even shoveling horse poo each afternoon. That didn't deter HV's interest and desire to have a horse. She has assured us that she WOULD clean up after the horse. Yeah, right. :) We've encouraged her to save her money and perhaps one day she could own a horse. Yeah, right.