Mama Bear

That's me. Mama Bear. Mess with my kids, and you'll have to deal with me. I just have one problem. I don't know how to fight back on this one. The US Embassy is continuing to give me problems. Big, big problems. Not backing down. Mama is tired. I can't keep fighting. Yes, I know I can, but today, my mind is too tired. I can't think. I can't get it together. I can't figure out what to do. So, today, I have ignored it. Yes, I've thought about it all day, but a part of me has pretended I don't have to deal with it. But, tomorrow will come. The problem will still be there. And I still have to figure out what to do. Please pray. Please pray for wisdom in solving this problem. Please pray those at the US Embassy to realize how and why I cannot comply with their requests. Our hearts are heavy and I just want to crawl into my bed and come out only when this bad dream is over. Is it over yet? Nope, I'm afraid not. HG needs us. She doesn't have anyone else in her corner except us. Strengthen us, Lord Jesus. We are weak and cannot do this alone. I know you are here. Please make your presence known to us, giving us a calm and peace.

Santa has a beard!

I was finally able to get through on the phone to speak with our dear HG. We've been trying since Christmas Day, but the calls just would not go through. But, we were lucky last night. "Hello, Ma Ma Mee" was the greeting I heard and then a little giggle. I spoke to her for a moment and then said, "Merry Christmas!" She repeated the phrase back to me. Then, I asked about Santa. Another giggle. "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" was my reply which was met with a BIG giggle! HV and HM both got giggles with their Santa impersonations as well. While HM, otherwise known as "Hoo Hoo" to HG, was on the phone, she/HM told me to wait a minute because someone else was talking to her. I don't think she understood what he was saying, but it was HG's foster brother. He was telling HM that HG was telling her about Santa. HG told HM that Santa has a beard and says Ho Ho Ho! The foster brother told me this when I got back on the phone and said that HG laughs at him and his father each day when she sees them put the shaving cream on their face. He laughed and said that he might be a little overweight, but come on! I thought it was hilarious and shows SUCH great progress for my little dearie. To attempt to tell Hoo Hoo about Santa and then to transfer her picture knowledge of Santa to that of her foster brother and dad's shaving creamed faces is FANTASTIC! So, it gave me a peace. A calm. Oh how I miss that girlie!
HG's foster mom doesn't speak much English and while can communicate just fine in person using our hands or whatever, she doesn't care to talk on the phone. We typically always end conversations with me asking if she has any questions for me and then she asks if I have any questions for her. This part is typically facilitated by a family member that speaks better English. Last night, I didn't have any questions for them but I did thank them for loving HG for us. Her foster brother's response was "Well, that's easy to do. And, we are happy to do it!" That just gives me more peace and more calm. I need that calmness right now. My mind is running "900 miles an hour" as we say here in the South. HG's birthday is a mere 1 week away. Her 5th birthday. And she won't be here for it.
Thank you, Lord, for such a sweet and loving foster family for HG. Give us the strength to continue waiting for her arrival here at home. There are days when it is so hard and all we can do is lean on You. Please, Lord. Let it be soon.

Christmas pics of HG

I actually took this photo myself. That's J's hand/arm on the right side (with the black bracelet and watch). Little did we know back then what God in store of us and little HG. She's 11 1/2 months old in this picture.



Christmas 2006



Christmas 2007


I have none of her for Christmas 2008. Actually, I don't have many pictures of her at all during 2008. I'm grateful, of course, for what I do have because I know many kids that are adopted at an older age have nothing from their early years.
When we began HG's adoption in December 2007, we had NO idea she wouldn't be home for Christmas 2008 or Christmas 2009. Surely by Christmas 2010, right? If not, you guys might be coming to visit me at Millwood, our local psychiatric hospital. Maybe they will let you take a picture of me wearing a cute little Santa hat like HG.
Merry Christmas, sweet HG. Te quiero mucho.

Christmas' Past

More old pics. I'm sure you guys don't care anything about seeing these, but they warm my heart.

Christmas 2003, waiting for HM to come home

Christmas Eve 2004

We went to Guatemala for Christmas 2005, so here are the girls with Ronald at the McDonald's in Antigua.

I have no pics from 2006 at all?? I had a hysterectomy that December, so perhaps the pain pills had the best of me for that Christmas. Here's 2007 with the two tias (aunts) y una prima (cousin)

Christmas Eve 2008. The girls participate every year in the Live Nativity at our church on Christmas Eve. HV was a wise man and HM was the donkey that carried Mary.

We will again this year have our traditional Christmas Eve breakfast with the tias and the prima above at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We've been doing this since 1998, I believe. The restaurant has changed a few times over the years, but the tradition continues. Then, we will go to the church service where HV will again be a wise man but HM is going to the angel that appears to the shepherds. She's nervous because she has a speaking line this year: "Do not be afraid!" Now, if she could just practice what she is "preaching," right? Pics, of course, will come.

Splish Splash!

I was looking at old pictures and this one was taken 5 years ago today. Oh my, they have grown.

From the other pictures I had taken on this day, this must have been HM's first bubble bath or at least one of the first. She apparently was amazed at her feet "hiding" under the bubbles and then reappearing when she lifted her foot back out of the water. Oh my.

Fast forward to January 2009 when HM and I traveled to Guatemala for HG's 4th birthday. HM was able to help HG "check out" taking a bath, just as HV had helped her.

Again, oh my.

ya!

Ya literally means "already" in spanish. It is, however, also used as "I'm done already!" too. For example, if you are done playing with something, you could give it back to the owner and say "ya!" This is one of HG's new words and she uses it correctly. When sitting on the potty, she says "ya" when she is done and is ready for you to give her the paper if she can't reach it. Ya actually explains a lot for us right now, you now. Ya is exactly right, my lovie.

Sorry. The "few days" I said it would take for me to write about my trip to Guatemala turned into much longer. My mind. Remember we were waiting for the certified copies and then we got them? Well, after they were submitted to the PGN/Attorney General's Office, we decided I should go down, trying to push it through the remainder of the process in that office. I flew down on Monday afternoon and finally crawled into my bed in Antigua around 12 a.m. The alarm went off at 4:15 a.m. and I was downstairs by 5 a.m., ready to ride in the van. Little HG was coming along with me! She was a little stand-offish at first, but once her foster mom, A, left and HG realized it was either me or no one, she was fine. No tears or anything like that. We went to the US Embassy where I submitted these same certified copies, then off to the Judge's Court for some other certified copies (2 hour wait for 12 total photocopied pages), and then over to the PGN. Lots of waiting, of course, every where we went, but that's Guatemala. At the PGN, we were told that they now needed yet another document before they would release the file for processing. So, my trip didn't accomplish too much except to find out these new/additional requirements, getting the copies submitted to the Embassy, and last but not least, spending some time with my precious HG. There haven't been many new developments since then, sadly. Not much happens in Guatemala right now (at least not in the legal arena) due to Christmas celebrations, but we have some things in the works and I DO hope and pray that they are fruitful.
My time with HG was precious. She did indeed remember me. My name on this visit was often "Ma-Ma-Mee" which was pretty cute. She stayed pretty close to me and even refused to accept a cracker from my translator friend but would only take it from me. Her walking looks GREAT! I only saw the "dandy walker stance" when she was walking barefooted in our hotel room (tile floor). In the past, I would see the stance anytime we were walking someplace completely unfamiliar. I didn't see that this time. Praise the Lord! That means her legs are getting stronger, she is becoming more sure with her movements, and perhaps even she is negotiating better with the vision she has. She does speak quite a bit more now, using more words (even words that I didn't teach her before and yet I could understand her!). She did wet her pants while we were waiting for the copies at the Judge's Court. I take full responsibility, however, because I was tickling her after letting her spin round and round in the office chair. Laughing as hard as she was, I'm surprised I didn't go too because I was laughing so hard at her laughing! She did say "O! Pee Pee!" but it was too late. I had plenty of clothes for a change, but no panties. So, she had to go "commando" for the rest of the day! :) Funny story--the translator asked me after the clothing change if I had noticed a rash or something on HG's bottom. I said no but why did she ask? She said that HG kept pulling at her bottom and scratching. I smiled and told her that HG had no panties on and that I was quite certain that the tag was in her crack! I'd be pickin' my seat too, you know. Anyway, she was a real trooper and would often raise her arms up, asking me to pick her up. She fell asleep in the car on the way back to Antigua and she was OUT! She did wake up to eat a bit of pizza for dinner and then back down for the night. She wasn't as snuggly with me as she was in the past, but that's ok. She wasn't bothered by me being in the same bed as her, so I have no complaints. We spent the day together on Wednesday, just doing things together around the town. We visited her school where we talked with her teacher and I met her friend, Anuk. The foster mom took us to the school and then back to our hotel. When it came time to get out of the car, HG scooted as far away from me in the car and said "Bye Bye!" waving at me but not necessarily wanting to go with me. I picked her up from the car as she was screaming and back inside the hotel grounds. We sat down on a bench where she allowed me to hold and comfort her. After she stopped crying (was a very short time) but with her head still on my chest, she quietly said, "Pachita" and so we climbed the stairs to our getting, getting her a bottle of milk. I was so happy to see her tell me what she needed or wanted AND that I understood. We enjoyed a pasta dinner and an ice cream cone, of course. While we waited for our food, my arm was completely covered with her sweet kisses. That girl. She would kiss my hand and then lift her hand for me to kiss. Then the other hand. We then decided that I would take the early flight home on Thursday instead of the late flight and so HG went home with her foster family. We spent about 40 hours together and it was great. She was delighted to listen to her sisters on the telephone. She was perfectly fine being with me but does prefer her foster family if given a choice. Oh, how I want that girlie home.
I was talking with my sweet friend, Chick-A-Dee, on Saturday afternoon. I told her that I do not know what God is trying to teach us through this, but I know His timing is perfect and that these things are happening for a reason. I, of course, want to tell God, "But, couldn't I learn it in a different way?" I guess not. HG IS being well cared for by her foster family. They love her dearly and she loves them. She IS learning. Words that she could clearly say to me were por favor, sientate, gracias, buenas tardes, hello, hola, bye bye, pachita, ya, doo doo, pee pee, and mas. I know there were more, but these were the main ones. Another funny story--we were leaving the hotel grounds and the "gate keeper" spoke to HG. She didn't answer and so I told him that she doesn't speak much (this was all done in spanish). He opened the gate for us and as we exited, she said "Gracias! Buenas Tardes!" He and I both cracked up. She showed me, didn't she?
Please continue to pray. It is difficult as the celebration of Jesus' birth approaches this week without her here. Yes, she will enjoy Christmas with her family and we will enjoy it here. She does, however, have presents under our tree. I know we will have many more Christmases with her in the future. But we miss her on this one too. The girls wish she was here too. Not a day goes by without one of them saying "Man, I miss her." We do well on most days, and then something will just take the wind from my sail and I'm down. I'm choosing to focus this week on preparing my heart and mind for the birth of our Savior. My savior. Without Him I could NOT do this. My heart does, of course, hurt for my daughter that isn't here. Ya is right. Let's be done with this!

Una Amiga, Anuk

HG tiene una amiga a la escuela!

Meet Anuk. She's HG's friend at school. Yep, our baby has made a friend. They seek each other out and actually play together. Before now, HG has just done parallel play. So this is EXCITING! Anuk is only 2 years old, I believe, but HG is about the same age developmentally. I haven't asked the school directora if Anuk's mom/dad speaks English, but I will probably try and establish contact with her family before we are able to bring HG home since she is, after all, her first friend. With all of the yucky stuff going on right now with the US Embassy, I MUST take time to rejoice in the good things that are going on. Developing a friendship is definitely a good thing.

Trials with the US Embassy

Oh, friends. Since I have last written, I have made a quick trip to Guatemala. I'll write more about that experience and getting to spend a little time with my sweet HG in a day or so. Right now, I ask for your prayers for the staff of the US Embassy. For some odd reason (I honestly don't understand it and so I can't explain it to you), they have made a bizarre "conclusion" to HG's case. While "the fat lady hasn't sang" yet by any means, it is a big obstacle for us right now. They are asking for paperwork/documentation that does not legally exist for HG because of the type of case that she is. This case type is decided by the Guatemalan government, not the US Embassy. And so, I am currently trying to "convince" them of HG's legal status by simply showing them the proof in the writings/declarations of the Judge and the Appeals Court. It's not my opinion. It's the declaration from the Judge that states her legal standing. The Embassy, however, has opted at this point to disregard that and make their own rules. Please pray that they will retract their current requirements as it is impossible for us to comply. Please pray that they will simply see their oversight with this issue and will issue that preapproval/Embassy Consent. Please pray that if the officer doesn't see or understand the information she is reading, one of the coworkers, whether in Guatemala or in Washington DC, will help her see the information that is clearly stated in the resolution. Please pray that this will be resolved this week. It can happen. I know it can.

The Eagle has LANDED!

Hot off the press: I just received an email from my attorney that he has now received the certified copies that we need. THANK THE LORD! So, he will submit the copies to the PGN/Attorney General's office and the US Embassy by the end of the week. THEN, hopefully it won't be too much longer and we are done! Yippee!