The Paper and Prayers

Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words this week. I do not know if anyone will "come back" to the blog that visited it during Linny's Crazy Love Prayer day, but if you do, welcome back!
We are still waiting for the paper that we need for HG's adoption. We received word on Thursday afternoon that there would be a meeting on Friday (yesterday) morning to review the decision. Late yesterday/Friday afternoon, I emailed my contact, asking him if there was an update. He said that they were going to need to meet again on Monday and that he would keep me posted. Please continue to pray for this group of people making the decision on HG's visa. It will be a long weekend, but I hope and pray that we have POSITIVE result when this is all done.
A funny thing about fasting: I did fast on Wednesday during the day, praying more than normal. When I would feel a bit of hunger, I would pray. God would take care of my hunger and I would continue on my day. I did eat dinner with my family and I told them of my day of fasting and prayer. I explained fasting to HM and HV and why I did that. Fast forward to yesterday/Friday. We were at the pediatrician's officefor "sick visits" for both girls. The pediatrician said that we should do a blood screen on HV and that she would need to fast. Her eyes got as big as saucers and she shook her head. She thought she would need to fast all day like I did! I laughed and explained to the dr. that I had fasted and prayed this week and so HV thought she would have to do it all. She got a laugh about that too. No, HV. You only have to fast 8:30 p.m. until 8:30 a.m. the next morning. No biggie! That silly girl.

Prayers this Week

I read many blogs on the ol’ internet. One of them, www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com, is mostly written by a woman named Linny. Linny is a big adoption advocate and is having a special day of prayers for adoptions that are currently underway. She’s calling it The Crazy Love Prayer Challenge and September 8 is THE day for the prayer challenge. Linny’s challenge is asking her readers to pray and fast for those adoption prayer requests listed on her blog. I’ll be joining her and I hope you will too.
As many of you know, we have had such a lengthy adoption journey for HG. So lengthy. Right now, we are waiting for 1 piece of paper. Yep, just one, to wrap up her adoption case and then finalize the paperwork to bring her home. This piece of paper is to be issued by USC*S Guatemala. We have been going round and round with them since September 2009. If you remember, we had a 30 day deadline which ended in the latter part of August 2010 to get them what they needed/wanted. We met that deadline with both a rebuttal letter and the requested paperwork. That was submitted 3 weeks ago. And we still wait. So, specifically on this day, we ask you to pray for the following:
1. Pray that those involved with this process at the US Embassy in Guatemala will have the wisdom and guidance to issue this paper.
2. Pray that the decision/paper will be in our favor. I haven’t spelled out here what it could mean for our family if it is not favorable, but it’s pretty scary, guys. We’ve not given any of the other outcomes much thought because we are remaining faithful that God’s will is for HG to join our family through this avenue. But, it will mean BIG changes for our entire family if it is not favorable.
3. Pray for the right people to be in the right place should questions need to be asked regarding HG’s case.
4. Pray for a speedy issuance of this paper. I know that everything happens in God’s perfect timing and my mind cannot always comprehend His timing.
5. Pray for angels to continue to surround HG’s mind and body. In order for one specific person to agree to obtain/issue the paperwork we needed for the Embassy, I had to agree to allow HG to return to the orphanage where she has not lived since I took custody of her in July 2009. It broke my heart to do it and it breaks my heart to have her continue to live at the orphanage when her loving foster family is willing and able to take her back in just a moment’s notice. I do not fear abuse at the hands of the caregivers of the orphanage or even from the other children there. I fear HG closing her mind to accepting and trusting humans in her life. We have, after all, “abandoned” her at this orphanage, taking her away from her sweet foster momma (or myself). This is probably one of the scariest things to me.
Thank you, sweet friends, for your prayers today (and always). Even if you aren’t up to fasting, will you commit to praying for us as often as you think of us?
Hugs and love to you all!

My silly girl, HG, "washing" her hair (or maybe she's rinsing it?) herself in August 2010 during my visit

Our daughter, HG, on the train at the zoo during my August 2010 visit

If you are new to our blog, you can go back and read about our journey to bring HG home. To give you a super short summary, we began the adoption process for her in November 2007, just 2 months short of her 3rd birthday. It was not about having another daughter. It was about following what God has asked us to do in making HG part of our family. See, HG had been living in the orphanage for almost 3 years and no one had committed to adopting her. She has extreme vision issues and is quite delayed. She is currently 5 ½ years old and is developmentally about 2 years old. She began walking at 3 ½ years of age and speaks much a like an 18 month old, one word or maybe 2 word phrases. My daughters and I made a temporary move to Guatemala last summer where we petitioned the court for custody of HG, having her live with us in a furnished apartment for the summer. When my employer said I must return to work, I petitioned the court to allow her to live with some friends of mine in Guatemala. She has lived with them since September 2009, going to ½ day preschool and learning to be part of a family. We’ve had obstacle after another during her adoption process and are so close to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for your prayers!

14 days left

and I'm SCARED TO DEATH! I have NO idea what's going on in Guatemala surrounding this US Embassy issue. No idea. I know that fear should not be part of what's going on with me because God tells us to not fear for He is with us. My brain knows it. I really do. But, my heart? Well, it needs to clue in.
During this process, I have struggled with where I need to let go and let God do His thing. I have control issues. :) So, I have wondered if part of my learning curve with this current issue is that I am not supposed to do anything. God is going to take care of it, but not with my "help." I'm not sure, but all I know to do is to keep praying for guidance, direction, and peace.

Momma Mallard

Yesterday on my way home, there was a sweet Momma Mallard walking down the edge of the road followed by her 9 little babies. All 9 of her kids were all following clustered behind her, less than 12" away. A car came by and Momma and 4 of her babies jumped up onto the sidewalk. The 5 left below the curb were SCARED! They were jumping, jumping, jumping, trying to get up on the sidewalk. One of them finally made it up over the curb (they weren't even as tall as the curb!) and then the other 4 finally made it. They all huddled in, closer to Momma, now less than 8 " away from her, but still walking along. Too precious. I just sat in my car, watching them go along. I guess they were out for their afternoon stroll, building up strength in their little legs (I'm guessing that they live in/around one of the ponds on the golf course right by our house).

My thoughts automatically turned to HG. She's jumping, jumping, jumping, trying to get to her Mommas and yet she hasn't made it to us yet. Even the little ducks KNOW they need their Momma. They want to be close to their Momma. And Momma wants them close to her. She needs to love them. And teach them. And nurture them. All so that they can grow up and become adult ducks.

And then, my thoughts turned to God and the amazing way He made us. He made us, both ducks and humans, to need our Mommas (or could be Daddies, of course). We need to be taught, to be loved, to be nurtured and God, in His wisdom, created families. A place where you can be accepted and loved, not matter what. A place where you can be taught to be strong, ready to face what comes your way. Being in a family is also the first place you get to try your hand at relationship skills. Skills you will use for the rest of your life. HV and I have been talking about this too--you have to practice being nice to your sister/family because it's your chance before getting out in the real world. Children need parents, not just their basic needs of food and shelter met. What would happen to the baby ducks (and children) without them?

HG and the baby ducks need their Mommas.

Stethoscope

I don't know who created this, but I like it.

All Saints Day

Sunday was All Saints Day, a day to remember those that have had their homecoming with the Lord. After receiving communion, there is time to light a candle yourself, remembering those that had passed this year or just anyone that has passed away. We lit a candle for my dear Gramps. If I had to name one person that I felt was the most Godly man I know, it would be my Gramps. He loved the Lord. Oh, how he loved the Lord. He was always singing, humming, or whistling a hymn. Even at his ripe ol' age, he was teaching 4 year old Sunday School in the last few years of his life! Gramps loved me too. And J. And our girls. We shared a love for peanut butter and anything that contained peanut butter. I remember asking him questions as a kid about God, theology, and such. Once I remember asking him to walk down the street with me one evening when they came to visit. I don't know how old I was, but I know I wasn't in elementary school just yet. My little neighbor friend had told me that day that her grandfather was going to have to cut down our favorite tree because it was diseased, needing "more to eat." I had saved part of my dinner to take to the tree, thinking that I could save it with my food. Gramps allowed me to put my food at the base of the tree but also told me that he didn't think that it would "cure" the tree. I remember that we prayed for the tree through my tears. While the tree didn't make it, I felt ok with things because we tried. I remember driving to Tyler where he lived when I was in high school and college, taking along a friend or two. I would play the piano (and I think I sang once too) for his adult Sunday School class that he directed with Mamaw. Mamaw went to see the pearly gates of heaven in September 2001. After she passed, Gramps continued his "work" at his church, delivering meals for Meals on Wheels, and many of his normal activities he did with Mamaw, BUT Gramps then took up dancing too. It became quite the joke that little Baptist Grampsie was cutting a rug with the senior citizen ladies! I remember calling him one time on my way home from work and he told me that he only had a minute to talk because he had a church meeting from 5:30-7:30 p.m. and THEN he was going dancing. He had more of a social schedule than me! Gramps suffered a stroke in November 2007 and then he moved to our area to live in an assisted living home for the last 10 months of his life (May 2008-March 2009). While I told him of our pending adoption of HG, I don't know that he ever "got it." I would tell him about her during my visits with him, and he would just smile. Most of you know that I'm a big cry baby. I can cry at a commercial. When we went to Tyler to see Gramps after his stroke, we had helped him get settled back into his bed for an afternoon nap after his therapies. J and the girls had left the room for me to say my goodbyes that day. Oh, I'm not good at goodbyes either. I started to cry. I took his hand and told him that I was sorry for crying. He looked up at me, and in his typical Grampsie fashion told me that I should NEVER apologize for showing emotions. He said that God gave us the ability to feel as humans and that I should use it. He reminded me that even Jesus wept and that Jesus knew what it was like to feel since He came to earth as a human. For me. Gramps assured me that he was going to be alright and he would be a "good boy." (I always used to ask him if he was being a good boy and continued to tell him to be a good boy once he moved to our area). Boy, I know I'll remember that one forever. My sweet, handsome Grampsie. (Yes, I'm weeping as I am typing this.). That was probably my last glimpse of "the ol' Gramps." At least it was my most memorable moment of him in his later years. One other thing that Gramps told me 10 years ago that has had a lasting impression on me is God's love is big enough for everyone. If God can love me, then he could love me too. So true. So true.

I know if "the ol' Gramps," the pre-stroke Gramps, were here during this almost 2 year long adoption ordeal for HG, he would have provided me with such great counsel. He would have prayed for me. He would have prayed for us. He would have prayed for HG. I KNOW he can see us and he watches over HG. That selfish side of me, however, wishes he were here to meet her when she comes home.

Specific Prayer List, updated

Updated:
I have added specific prayers for one more little one at the end of the listing. I also fixed a typo in there--sorry!

During this journey to bring HG home, my faith has grown. It has been tested, but in the end, it has grown. I KNOW that God will take care of me. My human side, however, likes to think it should take over.... I decided to make a list of all of the specific things for which I should pray daily for our case as well as the others caught in this mess. I emailed the families in process, asking them if they would like to add something to my list that is either particular to their child or their case. I'm pasting this lengthy list below. One of the families thanked me for writing it out like this. I'm a list maker. I don't always get it all accomplished or marked off of my list, but I like seeing things in writing and this helps me to keep my communcations going with God. I hope it helps you too.

PRAYERS:
Process
--for people in power and decision making positions to do what's best for our child
--for there to be no Constitutional Injunction this week
--for the hearts of everyone will be softened to act quickly on behalf of our children
--for all obstacles to be removed and the process to be able to flow quickly through
--for our cases to have favor with officials and for God to remove those people who stand in our way
--for the children to no longer be held by the injustices of adults for which they had no control over
--for the process to be quick and without setbacks
Families
--continued strength to perservere through the process
--financial resources to provide for our families as well as the adoption needs
--support and caring from our own circle of friends
--for the other children in our families to not feel neglected or "short changed"
--for a sense of peace surrounding the process
--for the knowledge and wisdom needed to bring our new children into our families and how to best meet their needs once they do come home to us
--for peace and healing for us as the parents and families, in mind and soul
--for knowledge and peace with the understanding of why we have endured this process in our efforts to bring the children home
--for God to "save us from persecution by those who seek to do evil."
--for God's perfect will to be done, whether that means our children grow up with us here in the US or in Guatemala
--for us to accept God's perfect will
Children in Process
--for God's continued protection of their bodies and minds
--for the current caregivers, that they will love and nurture our children as their own until they can join us
--for the children to continue to learn
--for their comfort, knowing that we are here, preparing our lives to include them physically
--for their health
--for each child to receive the proper stimulation and nurturing needed to minimize institutional behaviors
Specifics for each child:
SM
--for continued physical growth and development
--for good health
--for her to begin to learn about families and understanding of how she will fit into one
--for her to know the love of her family
--for her to continue to learn
MA

--for the orphanage to release MA the care of the foster mom
--for the orphanage to release MA's paperwork/file
--for MA to be able to transition smoothly to the foster family
HG:
--for her to not be confused about why we had to leave her
--for her mind to stay open and accepting of us as her family
--for her to wear her glasses and eye patches as needed to help her vision to improve
--for her to continue to gain strength and stability in her movements/mobility
--for her to continue to learn at her school as well as with her foster family
--for her to know that we love her and are ready for her to come home to us
CP:
--for him to understand that his family is working hard to get him home
--for his mind and body to be protected from harm
--for him to remain strong, happy, and to feel loved
--for physical growth and endurance
AC:
--for her to continue to grow and learn in her current beautiful envirnoment in Guatemala
--for her to begin to adjust to life without her "brothers and sister" she has currently at her orphanage as they start to go home to their families
--for her to bond to her family in a way that gives everyone more strength and love
C:
--for God to surround his mind, body, and soul with His goodness and protection
RA:
--for God to surround his mind, body, and soul with His goodness and protection
--for RA to be receiving the attention and emotional care that he needs
--for RA to not have any anxieties or fears after his accident
--for RA know that his family loves him and is working hard to bring him home
JR:
--for God to surround his mind, body, and soul with His goodness and protection
IC:
-for her to not have a negative perception when she grows up of Guatemala based on the events of the past 2 years
-for her to not feel unloved or confused when her family visits and then leaves
-for her to be provided love, guidance, and patience until she is forever in the arms of her family
-for her biological mother to stay involved in the process for as long as it takes to complete
-for her case to be submitted to Family Court and for the social worker to work accurately and quickly

A Tale of Two Families

No news from Guatemala. :( The US Embassy is now requesting a copy of the sentencia/resolution that the Appeals Court issued. While this sounds like it should be an easy thing to complete, I must request a certified copy in writing, have the 15 pages translated into English, and then I can submit it to the Embassy. Yuck. I also do not know what this has to do with the Embassy issuing their consent, but whatever. I would spend more time fighting it than I would to get it done, so we are moving ahead with getting it done. We do hope to have news by the middle of the week on the status with the PGN/attorney general's office.

I wanted to share with you about two families that I know. Family #1 has adopted two children, both through the same program as HV, HM, and the one that started HG's adoption. During their second process, they had lots of extra fees to pay. Family #2 has also adopted two children through the same program. Family #2 knows of Family #1 and knew of all of the fees that #1 was having to pay. #2 paid some of the fees for #1, saying that they had the funds and were happy to help. Family #1 knows that the fees were paid but doesn't know the identity of Family #2. Now, jump forward to our current situation of not having all of the funds to complete HG's adoption. Family #2 has suffered a job loss this year and is still unemployed. Their support and friendship, however, has been priceless during our adoption. Family #1 mailed me a check last week with a note inside. It said:
Remember when someone paid some of our fees during our child's adoption? Well, we're paying it forward and now we're helping you.
I shared this with Family #2, showing how even though they couldn't help us financially right now, their financial generosity in the past has paid off to help us after all! Isn't that neat? The gift from Family #1 allowed us to pay all of our adoption bills owed at the beginning of October. God provides. We have continued to be humbled and grateful for all that you guys have done. It's just too much at times. J told me the other day that she has been amazed at what I have done with this fundraising. I told her it wasn't me at all. She corrected herself, saying that it's amazing what God has done in the fundraising. She's right. It's amazing.

Bread

some bread from our little bakery close to our apartment in Guatemala--this wasn't our normal bread but this was all they had on this day that was fresh.

I love bread. I really could bypass almost all of the meal if I had bread. HV is a bread lover too. I joke and say that she got that from me. :) In Guatemala, we would go and get fresh bread from a particular bakery several days per week to have with our meals. The girl at the bakery came to know us and would only sell us fresh bread. See, since I'm a gringa, some bakeries would simply sell me whatever, even if it wasn't fresh, and so that's why we continued to go to the same one over and over. She knew us. As I shared before, my friend gave me a Bible Study book for the Lord's Prayer. I decided when I finished it in Guatemala that I would continue to go through the book until HG comes home. So, I'm on my second time through now. The study lasts 40 days, not counting Sundays (it's designed to use during the Lenten season), and I do hope that I only get to do it twice before she comes home. :) I know I commented before on the lessons discussed in the book on bread here, but it's hitting me over the head AGAIN as I journey through it a second time. "Bread" is much more than the food pictured above. It's about God's provision for us. God keeps reminding me through this study and discussion on "bread" that He WILL provide. If we are following what He commands us to do (and we feel we are), then He will provide. My human side, however, becomes fearful that we won't have all of the funds to cover our adoption expenses. We have been overwhelmed by the goodness and thankful for the generosity of a few families that have given to HG's adoption fund. J and I couldn't believe it. We aren't where we need to be in terms of the finances, but we KNOW that we are doing what God has asked us to do and He will, therefore, provide. Pray for our patience, wisdom, and understanding with it all. We are only humans.

Lessons from Hershey, Part I

When we were in Guatemala, I missed Hershey. We all missed Hershey. Hershey LOVES to go on a walk and so this morning, she and I went on our first walk since returning from our "home" down south. I worked a really long day yesterday (17 hours) and so I took today off. After taking the kids to school and doing a little follow up on the ol' computer, I got Hershey's harness out and we headed out. There's just something about walking with my dog that is good for me. Yes, I know the exercise is good, but I'm talking about my emotional and spiritual parts. I've been thinking about that today, and I think I have it figured out: I can learn a lot from Hershey. I think I have a lot to say about this, so I'll call this "Part I" and I'll share more on another day. If you aren't a dog person, you might think this post is corny. Sorry!

Lesson #1--Love

Hershey loves me. She knows that I'm the one that typically takes her for a walk and she greets me with great excitement, especially if I have her harness in hand. She promptly sits down, putting up her right front paw so that I can put the harness on. She's ready. She doesn't pull on the leash when we walk (unless she sees another doggie and then she's ready to meet a potential new friend). But, she's happy if we see no one and it's just us. Again, she loves me. And I love her.

I see so many parallels and lessons in my relationship with Hershey and my relationship with God (or perhaps where I would like to see my relationship with God). God loves me. And I love Him. I should be so excited to meet God every day. I wish I could say that I am, but it's not always the case. Sure, I'm grateful everyday, but there are some days when I just don't want to do what God wants me to do and so I'm not always "excited" about meeting Him each day.

Lesson #2--Safety and Protection

Hershey trusts me. She trusts me to keep her safe when we are out and about. She looks back at me when we are walking along, often putting her "beak" as we call it (her nose/muzzle) in my hand for that little reassurance that I'm coming along. Yes, lovie. I'm right behind you, holding gently to your leash.

I look to God for His reassurance and protection too. Being with Hershey today, however, reminds me that I perhaps need to do this more--Look to Him.

Lesson #3--Be Still

Hershey and I don't have to talk. Yes, I know she doesn't talk, but you know what I mean. We are just WITH each other as we walk. No talking is needed. We enjoy being together and walking.

God doesn't need me to talk all of the time. He needs me to listen. He needs me to just be with Him. Spending time together. Just like Hershey needs me to spend time with her. One of the things that resonated with me over and over in Guatemala was for me to "be still." Here, I have many more distractions. It's not always easy to be still and listen, but I am trying. I'm getting better at it, I think.

....to be continued....

This is one of the only pictures I have of Hershey (on the right) and Augie together. Sweet Augie crossed the rainbow bridge in March 2009. Oh I miss her! I'll write another post on her another day. She taught us many lessons too (and she loved walks too!). I love you both, my four-legged kiddos!

My Score?

Some of you might not know this about me, but I taught gymnastics all through high school and college. Yes, I took gymnastics as a kid, but I wasn't very good. I think that my inability to be a natural, however, did help me to be a better teacher. Kids were always afraid of the balance beam more than the other equipment. It's high. It's skinny. It can be scary, especially once you become more advanced and are learning tricks. It was never my favorite, but I could tolerate it for sure. I always felt sorry for those kids, however, that couldn't tolerate when I was teaching. Traci was one of those kids (Do you remember her, JWS?). I remember her well with her long, blonde hair and skinny as a rail. She was a good little gymnast, but she hated that balance beam. I saw this video a few months ago and it has stuck with me since that time. I guess it's something that I can understand with my background in gymnastics and my memory of teaching kids like Traci.



Sometimes I think that "my score" is SO LOW. I would like to be able to say that I could at least score a 5.0, but I am a work in progress. I'll keep working on my "routine." Will you?